what makes a father, a good father?

photo by Gina Matchinsky

I think being a good father or a good mother for that matter is just like being a good Christian or a good Samaritan. It is doing something good for the welfare of helpless beings who can't pay you back. They are the "least of Christ brothers and sisters." It is doing both corporal and spiritual works of mercy without expecting anything in return.

The 7 Corporal works of mercy are:

1. Feed the hungry

2. Give drink to the thirsty

3. Clothe the naked

4. Harbour the harbourless

5. Visit the sick

6. Ransom the captive

7. Bury the dead. 

Spiritual works of mercy, on the other hand, are:

1. Instruct the ignorant

2. Counsel the doubtful

3. Admonish the sinners

4. Bear wrongs patiently

5. Forgive offences willingly

6. Comfort the afflicted

7. Pray for the living and the dead

A good father loves his children enough to have a genuine concern in seeing to their well-being all the way through. 

Some parents tell their children that if you can't enter the vows of celibacy (becoming a priest or a nun), you might as well enter the vow of Holy Matrimony (marriage).

In the Catholic religion, there are 7 Sacraments instituted by Christ:

1. Baptism

2. Eucharist

3. Reconciliation (aka Penance or Confession)

4. Confirmation

5. Marriage or Holy Matrimony

6. Holy Orders (aka Ordination or Vow of Celibacy)

7. Anointing of the Sick (aka the Last Rites or Extreme Unction)

The reason why they say that is because they want people to get as many Sacraments as they could. It  is believed that they are special occasions for experiencing God's saving presence and grace. Because if you can't be like Mother Theresa who has the good heart to do both Corporal and Spiritual works of mercy to so many impoverished people regardless of who they are, being blessed in the Holy Matrimony and having children to care for gives a person the wonderful opportunity to truly love people and to give them all the Corporal and Spiritual works of mercy they need in their most helpless state. Because who better to do these things to than your own spouse and children.

If those children are not your own flesh and blood, all the more goodwill is extended and all the more the magnanimity of the act. Because the more people you give love to, the more people who experience God's love because of you, and the more people who became better people because of you - all the better for you because it paves the way for you to receive God's saving grace.

So being righteous, just, loyal and a loving person, I think are the more important traits of a good father. Being a handyman, being a good provider, being strong or youthful, being talented or intelligent are just secondary. It is more important for him to have a good heart. It is also a heart that beats for only one woman, his wife and finds ways to express it.

They say that the best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. Dave Willis says "Husbands love your wives well! Your children are noticing how you treat her. You are teaching your sons how to treat women and you are teaching your daughters what they should expect from men." A good father loves his wife enough for things to fall into place.

So on Father's Day, cheers to all the good fathers in the world. Happy Father's Day!